Reflection

4/20/09

We are sitting on anchor here in the village islands in Uganik Bay on Kodiak Island. It is a beautiful day. Clear skies and crystal clear water. So there is nice weather in Kodiak! I wouldn’t have believed it up until now. The cacophony of  screaming seagulls interlaced by the shrieks of all the majestic bald eagles permeate my entire consciousness as I sit here trying to write. It is impossible to convey in words everything I am soaking in at the moment. This is a special place. The land is alive, and vibrating with energy. I will do my best to describe one glance as I look up from pen and paper. Sparkling diamonds glisten on the surface of the water practically blinding the eye. On closer inspection, one can see dark shadows of fish, most likely herring teeming under the surface. Thousands of white flecks that are seagulls are constantly soaring in the skies, plunging in the seas after fish, or floating about in repose. They fight, squawk, and incessantly stir about.  It seems as if this is a nesting ground for eagles. The beaches and cliffs are lined with these statuesque birds. Sometimes they wont twitch a feather for hours on end. There are nests every which way one looks. In the trees, on pinnacles of rock stabbing up out of the water, on the steep cliffs lining the cove. King of the sky, he soars about, ruling all creatures of flight with his regal grace and his fierce countenance. In Mexico someone told me they call them kile’le’. I look out across the water and catch the steam of a whale’s blow out of the corner of my eye. They are either minkies, or fin whales, and they are out in the bay chomping away at the millions of herring that swim through these waters. My gaze is interrupted by a huffing sound, and I see ripples in the water next to the boat where some creature just dove out of sight.  It resurfaces and I stare a sea lion straight in the eye. Or so it seems to me, but really he is just interested in the fish milling about in the water. He glances at me and dives back under, continuing his feast. There are three seagulls harping upon each other hoping he brings with him some scrap or morsel in his maw each time he surfaces for a breath. It is a wonder they aren’t scared of his massive jaws, but they continue to peck away, clearly unabashed and unafraid to infringe upon his personal space. He doesn’t seem to mind though. Throughout the bay there are sea otters playfully rolling about, eating meals of shellfish and other sea creatures on there chests. The other evening I saw several deer standing on the cliffs looking over the water as they grazed away. I wonder if they wondered what these strange unnatural hunks of noisy metal were doing in there territory, or if they even gave thought to it at all. Do deer think? Or do they react purely on there senses, driven only by instincts? I know some animals are able to process thoughts and emotions. Who are we to say animals don‘t feel or think, just because we only understand our own way of thought(and even that we don‘t understand-which only leads me to question whether we understand anything at all). Often times our arrogance of believing we are the only creatures capable of higher thought and emotion blinds us from what is happening right around us in front of our very eyes each passing second.  What does “higher thought” mean anyways? Thoughts of construction, god, religion, music, philosophy? Who’s to say the other creatures on this earth don’t recognize these things, just in a different way? They have there own laws, structures, music, and in a way are closer to god then we ever will be. They feel pain, and not just the physical. Eagles and swans have life partners. Wolves, gorillas, and many other species stick loyally together as family for years and years. Are these not forms of love? There are countless examples of animal behavior in nature that point towards actions and reactions beyond mere survival instinct. I think that all creatures great and small are happy when they are allowed to live in harmony with the laws of nature, uninterrupted by the disturbance of modern humans. They feel no self pity, even when they must die to feed another and continue the cycle of life. What ever gave way to us feeling that we are above all of it, that everything is here for us and at our disposal? Was this mentality always here, and is it just an excuse to say humans are fatally flawed like this? I just can’t believe that because I am sitting here writing these words, and I know for a fact I am not the only one to question this. So what is it in us, this evil, this darkness, that destroys everything that is so natural, so beautiful. Can it be stopped, or are we all doomed? I ponder these questions all the time, but I am not sure if there are answers, at least not in our reality. But doesn’t the fact that these are real questions demand that there must be answers somewhere? Right after I wrote this last sentence I watched a TV show called The Unit and found this line interesting and pertinent to my recent contemplation: “Every problem demands an answer, and every answer has its problem.”